Agencies, Learn to Speak Client

July 11, 2024

A little up front warning, I'm going on a bit of a rant this week.

Though it is a justified and righteous rant, it is nonetheless a rant.

But it's something I feel very strongly about, because I care about our industry and our craft.

It's pretty well known by all that we struggle as an industry to align. There is no unified school of though on what marketing is, does, or how it works.

There are probably too many inflexible factions which prescribe one thing over another, or use differing terminology to mean the same thing.

Distinctiveness, differentiation. Performance marketing, brand marketing. USPs, CEPs (yeah you know me).

Much of it is well-intended, some of it adds a great deal to our lexicon, but far too much of it is equine excrement, designed only to feed the ego and wallets of bad minded people who stir the pot only to claim their own primacy. Kerching.

And they can get right into the bin.

Drink the juice.

Be at one with the trash that they are.

You know the type. Huge social followings, typically of younger and often untrained marketers who are just trying to find their way through the fog to be the best marketers they can be, and as quickly and painlessly as possible.

We're all after a short cut, right? A hack? A bloody "life hack" (it's a "tip", by the way, and old as time). But if you're going to take a short cut I'd suggest qualify that it is even going to get to your destination, and then work out if it's quicker or better or just a steaming pile of camel shite.

We're in a culture that celebrates personal financial success as a natural outcome of expertise and hard work. Popular culture reveres those who are successful, and assigns an otherworldly wisdom to them.

We get them showing up on in our newspapers and TV shows. Simon Cowell, the great sage of pop music. Lord Sir Alan Sugar, the doyen of British Business. Donald Trump, the billionaire felon-to-be and gameshow host risen to POTUS.

So when people see those profiles with tens of thousands of followers, comments full of acolytes offering praise ,it might suggest there is something valuable to learn.

Why wouldn't it?

And it might, though in my experience it rarely does (like if you agree, share if you disagree, find some other way of spreading my word if you don't know).

But here's the thing. Most of them really don't know how to achieve what they have, there is no blueprint, there is no strategy, there is only blind luck, what worked for them without any context. Often hiding key factors like the privilege they started with, the lucky break they stumbled across, the absolute lies in their accounting.

No universal truths, only performative survivorship bias*.

Marketing is a wonderful profession and a fascinating subject. It's certainly worth learning about, worth digging into the history. It's absolutely worth getting an education and professional training in.

It's worth a lot more than the Gary Vees, the Simon Sineks, the Steven Bartletts, the Neil Patels and, yes, the Scott Galloways have to offer by way of marketing wisdom or truths.

I've seen nothing that suggests a true understanding of the fundamentals of marketing from any of these men, just a hustle play to build upon and monetise their success via a personality cult.

Now, to be fair to Neil Patel, he is a search genius, I've used many of his tools in research, but he is not a marketer. And his suggestion that there's no need to read books when you can watch 5 minutes video on Youtube tells me all I need to know about his depth of wisdom. By the way mate, you'll want to watch the YouTube version of this, too many words for you too read here I reckon.

And the great Scott Galloway speaks brilliantly about business, investments and wealth generation, but eschews disproven marketing concepts and sees his experiences as being globally representative.

'It worked for me, it will work for you' is not only 🐴💩, it flies in the face of everything marketing teaches us. Everything a well-trained marketer knows to be true.

The first rule of marketing club is that you are not the consumer. You are not the consumer.

Your truth is not representative of your target market, far less universally representative.

Now, let's never go back to the middle-aged white man pile-on era of lockdown Twitter. But please call out the frauds, and more importantly give guidance when you can to our younger or misguided for somebody else's ego marketing colleagues.

It's not their fault that they have been exposed to 🐴💩. It's the fault of the self-serving hucksters, spivs and con men (because they usually do be men), and in some way it's the fault of the rest of us, who have been so distracted arguing about what we should call things ("I think we should reframe loyalty as..." GET IN THE BIN, STOP IT) that we let those f**kers take a hold.

Here's some things to look out for to spot a huckster:

• They present their own lived experience as a universal fact. You don't watch TV, Gary, but it's alive, well and still one of the most powerful broad beam channels, you melt.
• They have no evidence that what they are saying is true other than it worked for them. Neil might have got to where he is, towards the top of the gobshite tress, by not reading books, but there's plenty to be learned by reading.
• They block or set their acolytes to attack when even mildly questioned. Grow a pair, Danny.
• They have single colour backgrounds on their profile image, more often than not blue. Start with why do people give your rubbish the time of day, Simon.

So, can we please come together to lift up the profession. To share our earned and learned knowledge. To mentor, to coach. To make a safer space for younger marketers to ask questions without being shot down in flames.

Marketing deserves better.

These young marketers are the future, we should teach them well and let them lead the way.

We need to, um, show them all the beauty they possess inside? Oh, and give them a sense of pride to make it easier, and, well, kind of let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be, you know?

Sorry, went down a rabbit hole there for a bit.

Ah fuck it, I'm going in now.

I decided long ago, never to walk in Simon Sinek's shadow,

If I fail, If I succeed,

At least I'm not Gary fucking Vee,

No matter what they take from me,

Unlike Neil Patel I've got my dignity.

Um, not sure that last line is still true after this. Bums.

Anyway, until next time.

* Survivorship bias is when people focus only on those who have succeeded and don't factor in those who failed.